Suspicious~~~~Mysterious~~~~Counfusion~~~

What do I see in our future?

Do you wanna be like this like what we are now?

It's just I really want you back.....

How I wish that things were the same as last time

Until now,all I want is you

Im really heartily sorry for how I have mistreated you last time

If I could reverse the time

I would and I will just stop it there

The time where only happiness exist between us.

I would really cherish and I will not hurt you at all...

this has been haunting me

ever since you told me about this...

I really dont knw wat should I say

cause im unsure myself...

Top of my world~~

Ever since that day,you are still at the top of my world!!!

After your long break,finally you are back to college....

Can't bearly imagine things tht will happen wen u r with her..

XOXO....

you made my day~~~

I don't how to react towards you anymore.Its not your fault,but it's mine.Sorry for being such a stranger to you......I hope you understand.Recently,many things happen and I was really shock that you know about it. At first I really din knw how you know,but now I know.Funny isnt it? Thanks for the call yesterday.....at that point of time, i really need something like that. Thank u for always being there when i needed someone. Somehow, u always call at the right time....idk y!!! Im glad that everything has been well for you,im really happy for you and im looking forward towards u settling in UK.thx fren for all the thing tht you did yesterday.....you really shocked me....you remember huh? what i told you before? I wish i was there that i can walk on tht path tooooooooo....y did u tempt me? Well,hmmmmm dont worry about me k? I will be fine,promise! =)

p/s : I knw u will sure read this......lol,stalker!!!!

~will u walk this journey with me?~

caught in the middle.......

~ I want to but I can't..
~ I tried but I failed..
~ I thought that it was an easy thing to do,but....
~ I kept on telling myself that it's not good for me...
~ I really don't want to suffer this pain in me anymore...
~ I felt that im just totally crushed in and out....
~ I wanna put a stop to this...

Because I don't wanna think about you anymore.

All I want to say is..........

~I know that im mean to you.......

~I did not even talk to you even though

everything has been settled.

~I found out it is harder that I thought.......

~Im sorry if I made you feel bad,

I just couldn't help it...

~Time is all I need, hopefully

we can be as close

as we used to be,

although now it does not seem possible to me.

I have not been feeling very well recently. Many friends asked me am i alright? Well,I might seem alright,but deeply within im totally smashed up. Im in a messed right now,I cant entangled my own knots........

Finally....

11 Sept 09 will always be the day I cherish and remember the most...

Firstly, it was of course for being ALICIA'S birthday!!!!

&

It was the day the I reveal the truth to him.....

I did not even ever think that I would be that brave to do such a thing

But I did it.....It's not easy,but I have to at least give it a shot.

I know the answer the it very long ago...but I just wanna tell him coz it would be better for me.

I feel crazy doing it though,really really damn crazy!!!!

The truth really hurts me deeply,and that's for sure........

Everything went out smoothly thanks to him...

He's really mature in this sort of stuff and somehow he manage to tell me off in a nice way.

It really hurts but there's nothing that can be done at that point of time.

I really don't want it to affect our friendship,it's not worth it though....

We were schoolmates and now churchmates...

It won't affect him but Im not sure for myself....

I dont know how long will I take to get over this.....

Truth really hurts.......how I wish that things werent like this for u and i...

Thanks for listening and comforting me...

U were indeed great..

I thought I would cry...

I didnt,cz of how your words touches me...

Just give me time,and I promise that things will go back to normal.

Special thx to ~T~,~S~,~E~&~A~ !!!!!

without ur support im totally lost

&

I think I will go crazy!!!

XOXO.......

'' you deserve a better person than me,

don't waste ur time and tears on me

....it's not worth it!!!

I'm just a very simple person, u will

definitely get a way better person

.......im sorry......''

The truth really hurts,hw I wish i never knew the truth at all. I bet i would be better. Yesterday was indeed a crazy,insane day for me. Come to this point, I really dont knw wat to do anymore.

p/s : I LOVE U

Untitled?......

Yesterday was a blast of fun and but it was also a day where i hurt most due to many reasons. Had a lot of fun at the party. Somehow time flies fast when you are having fun and especially when he was there with me. But i have no idea why I was so sensitive about what someone said,and then i went emoing throughout the whole party. They may think that it just a minor thing,but to me it really did hurt me a lot. I was kinda sad when i heard bout it,and i tried to just move away from the place,so I went back to the house instead. I just feel like going away......Well, i guess this wont happen again coz we wont be meeting that often any more. Not as often as this few days. Come to think of it, i prefer to meet him more often.......BUT, I CANT!
I drank quite a lot yesterday,I just wanna get over the sadness and just forget about it. But, i cant!!!!!!! I think that I have fallen for him.I kinda just really really confused,but being with him makes me feel so warm and comfortable.These few days i have been thinking a lot about it,although the moments that we had werent long but thinking about it makes me happy and somehow i just go smilling and laughing to myself. How i just wish that time will just stop there...........I think that I have really FALLEN for him!

pictures & pictures....

~taken in Youth Camp and also in Aini's house~

Memories~~~~~

Its been awhile since i update my blog. Somehow, i don't knw wat to write and these pass weeks many many things happen. Good and bad i supposed! Youth camp was a success and it was indeed really fun for the campers and challenging for the committee members to make this camp a success. Well, he left again and this time i think tht he really really will not be coming back anymore. My feelings tell me tht i will be able to let him go,but there's this inner voice in me that cant let go of him yet. Maybe,time is my cure. Im really not sure with my feelings anymore. Just dont wanna think bout it. Even my frenz told me that i should not think about it, but seriously its hard not to think about it. Is it possible for me to fall for another person at this moment? hmmmm....is it my feelings or because others are talking and teasing about it,tht causes me falling for him? owh...this so confusing and i dont even knw wat im talking and typing about.But, I really really wanna thank Taryn and Sarah and the others for being there and comforting me when i need a shoulder to lay on. =)


~somehow, this picture reminds me of what you did for me~